A new little hobby
by rosehill
Summary: This is supposed to make fun of stories I have read in a lot of fandoms.
1. Chapter 1

Synopsis: this is supposed to make fun of stories I have read in a lot of fandoms.

Disclaimer: of course Galactik Football doesn't belong to me. They would never let such a scene appear in one of their episodes.

_A new little hobby_

It was early in the morning and D'Jok awoke with a start. He had dreamt that he had played as a defender and that he had enjoyed it because he could talk with Meï and even kiss her in the middle of the match. What a weird dream! Yawning, he got up and noticed that Micro-Ice was not in his bed. There also was a piece of paper on his pillow. _I'll come back_.

Puzzled, D'Jok went into the corridor. Did this mean that his little friend had joined the Pirates again? He walked randomly, wondering what to do, when he saw Meï and Tia standing next to Yuki's door. They gestured him to come closer.

"Don't speak loudly!" Meï whispered. "I think she's not alone."

"Maybe we shouldn't listen…" Tia suggested.

D'Jok frowned, and then he heard Micro-Ice's voice. "This is so fun!" he said excitedly. "Why didn't we try it earlier?"

"I guess I was waiting for someone I could trust", Yuki answered. "I just didn't expect it to be so… complicated… and… Oh, all the other ones must be awake, now!"

"Let's take our time, Yuki! We're not in a hurry!"

"Did you bring the protections?"

D'Jok nearly burst into laughter but Meï silenced him. Then they noticed that Rocket had left his room too. "Come!" D'Jok whispered excitedly. "Seems that our little Micro-Ice is about to turn into a big boy!"

The girls rolled their eyes. "We shouldn't stay here", Meï suggested. "They need intimacy."

Everyone jumped when they heard Ahito's voice. "Intimacy?" And they realised the twins had joined them. Now everyone was staring at the door.

"Of course I brought what I need!" Micro-Ice said enthusiastically. "Wait… how do I put this thing on me?"

"Let me help you", Yuki offered.

"Thanks… Uh, I feel tight. OK, so I start this way…"

"I'm not sure you're doing it in the right order, Micro-Ice…"

"Hey, relax, it's no big deal!"

"It _is_ big. Please, be gentle, there will be damages if you push it too harshly."

The twins exchanged a look. "I'll never forgive Micro-Ice if he ever hurts our cousin", Thran whispered.

"Yuki, have you ever done this kind of things already?" the dark-haired striker asked enthusiastically.

"Well… no. I just watched a few videos of people doing it on the Internet."

The twins exchanged a look again. Then they heard Micro-Ice. "I did that with someone, years ago. It was not very much fun."

"Zoeleene?"

"Yeah. Boring girl."

D'Jok opened wide eyes. "He had sex with Zoeleene?"

"I believed they just kissed a little", Meï whispered.

"So he lost his virginity _before me_?"

"Hey, it's not a race!" the girls protested.

Yuki talked again. "Micro-Ice, please… I like you but I think you're making a mess of it. And you say you have little experience. Maybe we should wait for someone else to come and show me how to do it."

"I can do it!" Micro-Ice protested. "Trust me. Give me your…"

"Hey, it's too big, it will never fit this way. And you're trying to do it too fast!"

The boys exchanged a look, wondering if Micro-Ice was bigger than them. The girls were wondering if Yuki was going to get hurt. Then they heard the boy's voice again.

"OK, go and ask anyone else. Ask Meï, ask Aarch, ask your cousins. I don't care, really!"

The snow Kids exchanged horrified looks. Then Yuki talked again.

"Listen, I didn't mean to hurt you. We'll do that together, okay? And I'm going to ask Tia if I can borrow her camera, so we'll have a tape of it. You'll show it to your children when you'll have some!" (Ahito pinched himself to check if he was sleeping)

"No camera, please. I don't think Tia would agree." (Tia nodded vigorously from behind the door) "And please, relax. You react as if we were about to have sex or anything like that. We're just trying to assemble your new IKEA closet, after all!"

The Snow Kids stared at the door in shock, and then they all burst into mad laughter. The door opened and Micro-Ice appeared, wearing all his usual clothes as well as very tight protection gloves. Yuki was standing just behind him. "What are you all doing here?" they asked, puzzled.

"We want to help you with the new piece of furniture", Thran said quickly. "Do you mind if we have a try?"

Micro-Ice and Yuki said they didn't. So the Snow Kids all sat down in pairs and had a lot of fun inserting things into other things.

_The end!_


	2. Getting dirty

Synopsis: I just had another idea.

Disclaimer: I don't own Galactik Football, and so on.

_Chapter 2: getting dirty_

Tia and Rocket were walking in the snow. It was cold, very cold, and they both wanted a warm drink. "Let's go the Planet Akilian", Tia suggested. "I wouldn't mind a cup of cocoa".

"My mom makes the best cocoa on Akilian", Rocket said, "so what about…" Then he frowned and shook his head. "No. Going to my parents' now wouldn't be a good idea."

"Why?" Tia said, worried. "Is there a problem with them? Are they arguing?"

"Quite the opposite. Sometimes I feel like a third wheel with them. No, it's something else."

"A health problem?" Tia asked.

He laughed. "No. They're just doing dirty things, I think. It's just not the good time to come into the greenhouse. Come!"

"They do that in the greenhouse?"

Rocket nodded. "Of course. Perfect lighting, perfect temperature…"

Tia looked embarrassed. "Well… I envy you a bit, being so casual about this kind of thing. I can't imagine my parents doing that."

"Of course, they're ambassadors."

Tia tried to find something to say and couldn't. So they went to the Planet Akilian and had a cup of warm cocoa. Much later they went back to the Academy and stopped in front of the flower shop on the way. Rocket frowned. "The sign _Closed_ is still on the door", he said.

"Yeah. What's the problem?"

"Well, they always start with this sort of things on Wednesdays, at the beginning of the afternoon, and they have finished one hour later. The shop should be opened again, now."

"Maybe they want to take their time", she suggested.

"You don't know my dad. He wants to stick to the schedule whatever happens. I used to help him doing that when I was a kid and he never let me doing it my way."

"You used to… do dirty things with your dad?" Tia asked, horrified.

"Well, of course! I knew my dad was handicapped and nobody else would help him."

"You should sue him!"

Rocket laughed. "Actually, I used to enjoy it when I was little. What drove him mad is, I liked football better."

Tia hid her face behind her hands. She had never suspected that Norata could be a pervert. "Does your mom know about it?" she asked worriedly.

"I guess she's proud of him. Mom? Dad?" he shouted while opening the door. "Do you need help?"

"Cloths!" Norata shouted from the inside of the greenhouse.

"Please!" Keira added, always the polite woman. Rocket sighed, entered the shop and gestured Tia to follow him. She didn't dare moving. This was so disturbing.

However, it was cold and she finally stepped forward and closed the door behind her. She heard Norata's voice again. "I said cloths, not towels!" he said. "Don't you ever listen?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with those towels?" he asked, slightly irritated.

"Well… they were your grandmother's", Keira said, embarrassed. "It was a wedding present and…"

"OK", Rocket said. "I'll get something else. Tia's waiting at the door, by the way."

"Tell her to come in."

Tia stepped backwards when she saw Rocket walking in front of her. He grabbed a pile of dishcloths and entered the greenhouse again. Then he came back, grabbed her arm without a word and led her into the greenhouse. His parents were wiping their hands and muddy clothes with said dishcloths.

"That's Wambasian plants", he said embarrassedly. "You cannot repot them without getting a bit dirty. I just had the feeling you were thinking of… something else".

Tia blushed.

_The end._


End file.
